Mamma Mia!

Here I go again..... Well today I give my first public speaking class speech... OMG. I am so nervous. My teacher told me that you need to turn your nervous energy into positive energy, but do you know how hard that is??? Geez, people I am not a machine, I cannot think like that... Got to go, working on the rest of my speech.... =O

ttfn

Jane Austen was always a favorite

I just watched the BBC version of Sense and Sensibility. And there was a remark that I took and quite ran with. "Why are men so difficult to understand? What are we to them? People or playthings?" (-Marianne)....

I concur with Marianne. What are woman to men? I guess to most we are people, but then to most we are playthings. Now I am not one of those women who get offended by men, I believe a man should be the head of the house and the "ruler of his house". It's just finding that guy who can "tame the beast". Because of my "strong-will" as my mother puts it, I am beginning to wonder if I could ever meet such a man. I've only found some pretty weak ones, and even at that I wonder if I was a person or a plaything to them. (I'm finding myself write on what I desire in a man) =)

I am quite inclined to find a man like Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. Someone strong, but with the inclination to bring out the best in his partner. Any couple, engaged or married or even just together, if destined to be must have a "grasp" of their partner. Being able to understand and control an amount of their lives, but not to the point of destroying any dreams. Unless it is destined to fail and the other can see it. Encouragement should be of great importance to the "couple". There might be faults, but sometimes they can't be helped. That's life, no one is perfect.
Now whether we begin the search with that in mind or find out half way through the search, could make things difficult, but it really makes no difference.

Trust is another thing, in the Pride and Prejudice story, Elizabeth's youngest sister, Lydia, is forced to marry the man she ran off with. Now Lydia will have to be stuck with a man who she will never be able to trust, unless she is so blind she does not see his disagreeable traits. Trust is not just grasped and can be let go of in a moments notice. If you trust someone, there should be no doubt or problems with what they do. Sure you can feel, uncomfortable, but what they do in the end is their choice (unless your their mother of course!).

Romance with a spark of mischief is also quite desirable, well for me anyways. (haha) You can always tell those types. They are quite humorous to watch, especially when they are trying to get your attention! Though, knowing myself, I might end up with just a romantic (hopefully at that).

Forgiveness is big one with me though. I hate, hate, hate the fact that no one forgives.I know it can be hard at moments, but really you know what it can do to relationships if you don't forgive. Sure they can blow over sometimes, but you keep that thought in your head it can bring very bitter thoughts in your mind. And you can use it to stab the person next time you see them and "fight" or whatever. It is quite vexing in the matter, forgiveness is a gift that should be freely given to everyone, whether they deserve it or not. Most people it takes them a long time to learn it. Myself included, but hopefully I am trying harder to stop the silliness.

Well I'm done talking of the matter, hopefully it brings understand to any person who reads it. And if it seems silly or bothers anyone, I'm sorry, those are just inclinations of a very silly 19 year old romantic girl.... =)

forgiveness for the fool

You know, sometimes the hardest way to learn you have a temper is to lose it... I learned I have a temper.... Now the question is how do I make it stop?

And another thing, why do people never forgive someone when they apologize? My mom always taught me when someone said their sorry, to forgive them, not to say "It's okay" or say nothing, but to say "I forgive you.". Especially if you meant it, or even if you didn't. Even ever I hear people "apologizing" I never hear a forgiven statement from the other. Whenever I lose my temper and say I'm sorry, I never, ever hear a "Erin, I forgive you." It's normally a.... "Next time do better". Then It's not really a forgiveness thing is it? If anyone does that, does it really count as "forgiveness"? God says we're supposed to forgive 490 times to just one person, so that means you shouldn't count how many times you have to forgive a person, correct? And should you forgive even if you don't feel like it? Oi, so many questions!

So, if you love someone, or want to be their friend, forgiveness is a virtue that should always be at the top level. It's not easy, but you know what? The more you get to know someone, the more you find their faults. Sometimes, others see more of them then others... But it is a real fact of life. People do dumb things, assume dumb things, twist dumb things, and hurt other peoples feelings. And it isn't easy at first, but once you begin to forgive people, it starts to make a difference... I know, I have a long way to go with forgiving people, but I honestly should start trying. Because we are made in God's image, and God gave us the bible to keep us in line. So forgiveness is a crucial in loving others. Whether it's our enemies, parents, siblings, family members, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wifes, and even the people you haven't met. Don't you think it's time to forgive?

Time flies by...

I remember when I first met you, your smile drew me in.
It seemed so fun to have you be the one that came around.
Everyday it seemed, that you would come around.
Slowly stealing my heart, I wish this could go on.
Now you slowly slip away, not coming around as much.
My heart is getting lonely. Is that too much to ask?
Where did you go, my love? Why are you slipping away?
Come back to me, my love, and let us get away.
-Unknown

My name is Inigo Montoya... you killed my father.

Guess what today is?! FATHER'S DAY!!! Well, today we went to church and then took my dad to lunch at the Airport cafe. We had a pleasant lunch (except for the screaming child in the background). My dad, right now, is sleeping before he has to go to work. He is working nights tonight. That's the only pic I could find of my dad... So yahh, Happy Father's day daddy! I love you!

Something horrible

There's a something horrible inside me.
Just tearing, wanting to get out.
It eats at me, clawing, angrily at my soul.
No matter how hard I try to ignore this jealously inside.
It makes me see that there's a reason that I hide.
My soul begs for mercy from the creature's dangerous glare.
I've been there, and done that, and see the pain it's caused.
It isn't fair to those who see it's ugly head.
So I hide the way I feel when I see the things I dislike.

My horrible experience...

Today I got my wisdom teeth out.... Ouch..... I got to the doctors and waited about an hour until they called me back... Then they put me in a chair and put sticky things on my chest and belly, so they could hear my heart beat. Then they took my blood pressure and made me use my inhaler before the "exciting" stuff happened... I had to take my hair out and put it in a blue fluffy hat. Then the doctor came in and put the IV in my hand. I didn't cry for once.

They then put a medicine in to make any swelling go down... boy did it hurt and itch.. i won't tell you where, but it was BAD. Then I sat there while they prepped me.... Then they put a needle in and I feel sleepy and BAM! I was out....

I woke up, my head hurt, my whole body hurt... It was so strange... My mind was working and fine, but my body was achy and I couldn't open my eyes and I couldn't talk (course I had gauze in my mouth), but i remember them picking me up and talking and then dragging me to the car..... being in the car, going home.... yahhh i have had a bad day today.... hopefully it gets better soon....

I miss him a lot..... I love you Zac!